The sporting world witnessed some of its more inevitable outcomes on Sunday, as a classic Kent Ramblas collapse preceded what we all saw coming at Wembley: a penalty shoot out defeat for England.

However, the similarities between England and the Ramblas probably started and ended there, as we don’t imagine Gareth Southgate having to make endless phone calls throughout the week to find his XI. But despite a rollercoaster of selection emotions, our intrepid captain Michael Cooper managed to secure a full complement.

Losing the toss, stand-in skipper Chris Thomas got his way anyway, and saw Steve Fitch and Mark Loughlin open the bowling with a tight spell, before the former got his 100th wicket thanks to a smart catch by one of four newbies, Adam Watts. Well done, Stitch!

Fellow new boy Mike Kelson and Ben Butcher (lesser spotted in a Ramblas shirt) then took on the mantle in a period that saw just 11 runs scored in eight overs, including Kelson nabbing a deserved wicket. Despite a great spell of five overs, four maidens and just one scoring shot off his bowling, Butcher was unlucky not to get amongst the wickets.

Thomas and Duane Hall took the ball next, but despite a couple of dropped chances and missed run out opportunities, they were unable to make any headway, leaving the hosts 92/2 with 10 overs to go.

Bringing back Fitch with Peatfield well set proved to be a wise decision, as the bowler’s reputation clearly got into the batter’s head, as he missed one with a wild swipe that saw bails and batsman all land on the floor.

Kelson and Thomas were charged with closing out the innings, the latter just about diverting a shy from Loughlin to the stumps to claim the fourth wicket. Alas, that was the last scalp, and despite some tight bowling Petts Wood closed on 158/4 from their 35 overs.

With everyone keen to head back to houses, pubs, etc to watch the football, hopes were high for a straightforward chase. Alas, this is your intrepid Kent Ramblas, so we can all guess how that went…

A promising start from Manny Hafeez (another debutant) and Watts looked like that premonition could come to fruition, alas the former was caught chasing one with the score on 17/1 at the end of the third over.

Al Murray, in at three, got off the mark with a single, but was unable to add to his tally. Matt Rudgyard (4) and Loughlin (0) decided to stay for a short time, but not a good time, with the fireworks of Watts (26) extinguished in between, as the Ramblas slumped to 47/5 after 12 overs.

Butcher and Thomas steadied the ship, but found runs hard to come by, the former stumped for nine having put on a 23-run partnership. Our final debutant, Callum Murray, joined the temporary skipper and scored two off a fine cover drive, before being bowled.

Turgid Thomas eventually put everyone out of their viewing misery, bowled for a 51-ball 19, replaced by Hall who played some nice shots before getting caught for eight having helped drag the Ramblas’ score over the hundred mark with Kelson, who was last man out for 17, leaving Fitch (5) not out as the Ramblas finished on 120 – meaning a 38-run defeat.

As ever, the contest was well-fought and friendly between two old foes, but the ramshackle Ramblas line-up suffered from a stuttering start with the bat.

Ramblas MVP The bowling of Kelson, Butcher and Hall was all worthy of note, likewise the batting of Watts, but with no-one really able to put in that all-important performance to push the Ramblas to victory, this week’s nod goes to the fifth Ramblas bowling centurion, Steve Fitch.